Pretending
by youdefinebeauty
Summary: Blair is back in NY from her summer in Monaco, focusing on her wedding with the Prince.
1. homecoming

**i do not own gossip girl or any of the characters.**  
><strong>this takes place after season 4. blair spents her summer in monaco with her fiance, dan is staying at the hamptons and chuck,serena and nate are in LA.<strong>

**have fun!**

* * *

><p>„A dime for your thoughts."<p>

"That much, Humphrey? I thought you'd go with a penny."

He laughed, while Blair smiled silently, her head slightly down. There was so much on her mind, she could fill books with it. But her priority, obviously, was her wedding. She had only 2 months left and they weren't even close to done. And they would never get it all set if the stubborn royal family would find another little detail that wasn't exactly how they imagined it. Blair hated the way the royals tried to exclude her if it came to the wedding. It was her wedding, and a Waldorf would not want anything less than perfect.

"There is still so much to do, you know. I never thought it would be this hard to plan a wedding."

She finally looked up from that little cup of coffee in her hands, meeting Dan Humphrey's eyes. As unbelievable as it sounds the two most different people in the world became close friends during the past months. Blair couldn't believe it herself, but she really had no time to think about that anymore. She was about to become a princess. A real princess. It was freaking her out.

"You seem so concerned, but shouldn't you be happy and excited and all that …?"

"I am happy, Humphrey. It's just a little hectic .. you wouldn't understand, coming from Brooklyn where the closest thing to royalty probably is the little Chinese restaurant around the corner.."

Dan laughed again, he was used to it. He actually liked the way Blair was teasing him. It was just her. And of course he knew she didn't mean it that way. She was just being Blair. All judgy.

"You know I'm rich? I mean, it's obvious I'm a part of the Humphrey-Van der Woodsen-Bass family"

The moment he said 'Bass' her heart skipped a beat and she nearly dropped her coffee. The memories came rushing back, the moment she told him she was engaged. The way he grabbed her. The way he told her she would always be his. The fear that's been running through her bones, her veins. The smell of alcohol. Glass, shattering. Blood. It was one of those nights Blair would never forget.

"I'm sorry, ... "

Dan tried to apologize, but Blair shook her head, small brown curls flying around.

"No, it's fine. Really. I'm getting married, he does whatever he wants. We're all good. But to be honest I'm happy he's in LA..."

"Yeah, me too. Him being around .. it's just not good. For you."

"Why so protective Humphrey? I'm not your little sister, you don't need to save me from him. But still .. thanks."

She smiled her typical smile while they crossed the street, heading to the Waldorf apartment. Blair enjoyed their walks, those coffee-not-dates were something she had missed in Europe. She couldn't deny it. But not as much as Dan did. Thinking of Blair as sister was nothing like it. In fact, it was kind of the opposite. But that's a secret he would probably never tell. How could he. So he decided to remain silent and took another sip of his coffee.

"You know, as much as I love Monaco, it's great to be home. I missed my friends. "

"I'm sure your friends missed you just as much. Not that I'd consider myself a friend, you know .."

They both laughed. That kind of conversation was a long time ago. Blair rolled her eyes, she suddenly felt the urge to hit him, but she stopped herself. She forbid herself to touch him, to touch other man in general. But if it came to Dan, she was extremely careful. She could not let anyone distract her from her destiny and since they had their intimate moments, she tried to avoid any contact between them. Self-discipline. She remembered her first day back in the United States. She had just got off the plane, crossing the airport, when he'd just stood right in front of her. She hadn't even noticed him til the moment he had wrapped his arms around her. She never expected him to pick her up at the airport, she thought they'd meet later anyway, and at first she was shocked. And out of instinct she wrapped her arms around him as well. It wasn't weird as she expected, it actually had felt good. She felt home. It was the last time he had been so close to her, Blair didn't mind. There was no way she could be doubting her relationship with the prince because of someone from Brooklyn. Just the thought …

"Ugh … just shut up, Humphrey."


	2. unexpected

**here's the second chapter, finally a little more.**  
><strong>Hope you like it :)<strong>  
><strong>Reviews are love!<strong>  
><strong>bisou bisou<strong>

* * *

><p>„So …what do you think?"<p>

Dan opened his eyes and he felt like he was dreaming. In front of him he saw the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. And this had to count for something since he dated Serena van der Woodsen. Blair smiled at him, turning left and right and watched herself in one of the five mirrors Dorota had placed in her room, all around her. Saying she was wearing a grandiose dress was the understatement of the year. Dan was speechless. Blair looked simply beautiful, like a real princess. It was a strapless top, tight, a plain pattern, but over and over with little diamonds. The waistline was still tightened, but the bottom of the dress seemed like a wide sea of white material Dan had never seen.

"I'm not sure if it's a good thing that you're not saying a word or a bad..."

With a questioning gaze she looked at her friend who hasn't been able to catch his breath or say a word whatsoever. Dan had never seen something that could be compared to the beauty he saw now. He could write a thousand poems or sonnets or novels about the goddess in front of him, without a doubt.

"Good. Definitely Good. You look … wow."

Blair laughed turning around once more to look at herself. She did look fantastic. Of course there were still things to discuss and changes would be needy. But all in all it was dreamy. Though she wasn't sure about her hair and if she should wear a veil or not. Dan remained silent while he watched Blair play with her hair. She was watching him through the mirror, glad about the effect of the dress. Or was it the effect of her IN the dress … She took a deep breath. It truly was tight, she might lose some pounds for it to fit perfectly . Stupid french standards. Her dad had sent her various designs, of course they were all unique, made for the wedding of the year. In the end she was allowed to chose which one to wear. Louis' sister had tried to influence her, a lot, but in the end it was Blair's decision. And since Serena was in LA the only person she could show the dress to was Lonely Boy. Dorota appeared at the door, her eyes widened as she spotted the dress.

"Miss Blair … you look wonderful! Wedding will be wonderful!"

Dorota went straight over to the girl she saw grow up, now becoming a young woman. The women shared a lovely hug, but as suddenly as Dorota showed up, she was gone again, doing whatever she was paid for. Dan never really understood what she was doing all day long. Blair sighed. It were moments like these that made Blair Waldorf love her life. She probably had the most beautiful wedding dress ever worn. She was going to marry a prince. She had great friends to support her. She would be a princess soon, having her own kingdom. Every dream she ever had would come true. Everything was to perfect to be actually true. She soon would be … but her thoughts were cut off when her eyes meet Dan's in the mirror. He was still staring at her, with a look she'd never seen before. Suddenly her heart started beating faster and she felt like she couldn't breathe. She turned around, facing him with a little smile. He slowly stood up and moved forward, not being able to look away.

"You look extremely beautiful. Louis is really lucky. It's a beautiful dress."

Her heart was still racing, she was afraid it could just jump out of her chest. The way he looked at her .. it scared her. There was a sudden tension. She couldn't face him so she turned away quickly, moving towards her bathroom. Dan sighed, for a moment he thought she could feel it too, feel what just happened between them. But obviously he made it all up in his head. The kisses meant nothing. He needed to make sure he would always remember that fact. It meant nothing to her. And it probably never will. She's living a fairytale with a prince charming, a dream-wedding and a kingdom that's waiting for her. He would only be the court jester. He could not belong to this fairytale. He stopped himself from looking at her and turned away as well, wandering around in her room. There was this awkward silence between them.

"Well, .. uhm. I think I should get out of the dress. So .."

"Yeah, sure, I'll just wait down the foyer."

Blair nodded silently while Dan grabbed his jacket and shot a last glance at the beautiful bride before he turned to leave. Relieved to escape the tension. Once she was out of the dress, it would be gone, he hoped silently.

"Hold on a second, would you mind helping me unzip? Dorota's gone now and ..."

The second Blair asked for help, she caught her breath. What was she thinking? Dan hesitated. All he wanted to was to leave, get out of the room, get away from the woman he desired more than anything, the woman he could never have. He took a deep breathe and mumbled a quiet 'sure' and went over to the bathroom. She was standing in front of the mirror, looked at herself with widened eyes as he appeared behind her. He touched her bare skin. A shiver ran done her spine as he unzipped the dress, sliding down her skinny body. Their eyes met in the mirror again and this time none of them looked away. Before Dan could even realize that Blair Waldorf was standing right in front of him, dressed with nothing but a tight white underdress, which, let's face it, left up nothing to imagination, he was touching her bare shoulder. She could not think. She wasn't able to form one clear thought with him standing so close to her. She could feel his hand moving down her arm, taking her hand, holding it close while the other hand moved to her waist. She closed her eyes, she tried to breathe, tried to focus on her heartbeat instead of his hands, but it was impossible. She couldn't move, she couldn't speak. He slowly moved forward, kissing her head. The scent of her hair hit him, he had missed it. More than he'd ever admit. And she couldn't help but enjoy the moment. It felt great, it felt right. Like all the pressure, all the burden on her shoulders, all that was gone. She turned around and looked him straight in the eyes. She wanted to ask him what the hell he was doing, what he was thinking. He could not just touch her like that. But she couldn't. He wrapped his arms around her, returning her look. And then he kissed her. He could feel her stiffen, her whole body was tightening. He just kissed an engaged woman. A friend. She trusted him. As their lips parted, he prepared himself to get beaten up or worse. But she just stared at him, with disbelieve in her eyes and all over her face. No sign of anger of fury, Dan was confused. And then she stood up on her toes and pressed her lips on his. He could feel her hands around his neck like flames burning his skin. He didn't remember her lips as soft as they felt now. Blair must've lost her mind, why did she kiss him. For a second there were so many thoughts in his head. What if she liked him? What if she didn't want to marry the prince? What if she'd much rather be with him? And as all the thoughts were spinning through his head, he couldn't help himself, he washed them all away and kissed her back. And suddenly everything made sense again. This kiss was nothing like the other times they kissed. There was no hesitation, no doubts, no more thinking, only pure passion. His hands moved down to her waist, holding her body as close as possible. Their tongues dancing ...

"Miss Blair?"

Dorota's voice. She wasn't gone. Out of the sudden Blair pushed Dan away, staring at him in shock as they heard a soft knock on the door of Blair's room. Thank God they were in the bathroom. Blair, leaving her wedding dress on the floor, pushed Dan aside, grabbed a silk dressing gown and hurried back at her door.

"What is it?"  
>She asked stressed, angry. While Dorota tried to explain why she needed to do the laundry right now, Dan was standing still, he tried to catch his breath. He just kissed Blair. Blair kissed him, again. He heard her voice call his name from a far.<p>

"Humphrey!"

He turned around, still paralyzed.

"I just told Dorota you wanted to leave..."

It wasn't a question, she was serious. She wanted him to leave. Now. He just nodded.

"Uhm … yeah. I have this.. this thing. And I … uhm. Call me."

He looked at her for a moment, she was avoiding his eyes, turning around and leaving him standing before he finally grabbed his jacket, mumbled a silent 'bye' and left.


End file.
